NEWS
2019/09/03
What is the most metal animal? That’s the sort of shit that keeps us up at night, you know… Because the kingdom of beasts is a mighty one. Feathers! Fangs! Claws! Devourings! Carcasses and carrion and shit like that! But which animal is the most metal of all? The only way to possibly find out would be to scribble sixteen arbitarily-chosen creatures that could plausibly be judged as metal onto some bits of paper, pick them at random from a hat and pit them against one another in a knockout tournament to the loud, hairy death. Starting off with snakes, sharks, goats, bears, cows, spiders, whales, eagles, bears, bats, dogs, rats, elephants, horses, panthers and every type of black raven/crow-esque bird (grouped together for convenience), here’s how it went down. Group Stage SNAKE V...
