here’s a part of “Porno” Elsa Yepes doesn’t remember playing. Her brain literally cuts the recording. “My brain faces fear = erases parts of the experience to protect me,” she says.

What’s left when the song ends is a corrosive feeling and the doubt that always shows up with it: am I being understood? Does this work or am I just breaking myself? The next song starts before any of that gets answered. Muscle memory takes over. The cycle keeps going.