“It won’t surprise you that I have problems with my ears – a quarter of a century playing heavy metal in pubs and clubs will do that. I went to get them tested once, and the technician showed me the graph that represented my hearing range. There was a big, noticeable dip in the middle, the size of the Grand Canyon, and I asked what it was. ‘That’s roughly the frequency of a snare drum,’ came the reply. So I have to pay regular visits to various hospitals and have them sorted out. “On one such visit, it must have been December time, I sat in the cold waiting room surrounded by my fellow patients, with everyone looking and feeling thoroughly miserable. Then, out of the corner of my eye, I saw a little plastic Christmas tree, bound ...